'can you hear me master'

'yes space cadet bibbledrivel, I can hear you'

'master this is a strange place, they purport to be famous and recognised but there is no one here'

'well what have you seen space cadet bibbledrivel'

'a strange slopping field master with lumps on it, a strange wooden building with old men in strange blazer like attire, and strange old men kicking a ball around, I think they are all asleep master, or else they are all zombies

'ah well space cadet bribbledrivel, you are obviously at wellings ground, can you see the burger bar'

'no master, the ground is empty and they have cardboard cutouts of fans in the seats'

'well they must have someone alive there space cadet bribbledrivel'

'well there is one human here master'

'is it a potential victim space cadet bibbledrivel'

'I don't know master but it has great big tits and black thigh length boots'......