With the first team affairs in such a state and surely a much needed change at the helm imminent I thought I'd do some research and put forward some suitable candidates to replace Mark Goldberg as 1st team manager at Welling United.

Barry Chuckle: 4/1

Has a fabulous track record of slapstick comedy and cringeworthy performances so should immediately fit right in with the current circus in charge of the club.

Mark has already introduced 'Chucklevision' this season with the performances of his team and Barry's 'From me to you' would be his take on a brand of Tiki-Taka

possession football that could be the envy of the Division.

Unfortunately Barry died last August though I'd still rate his vision and foresight to be far superior to that of the current manager.

Eddie the Eagle: 9/2

Nobody has a better track record of such compete and utter abject failure than MG but Eddie would run him close making him an ideal candidate who's takeover would

be a seamless transition.

Eddie has made a career out of starting from a great height and taking things plummeting downwards at a great speed before hitting rock bottom with a hard thud and

generally finishing last.

A celebrated loser and joke figure who's clueless expression and hapless results make him a solid contender for the role.

Nick Leeson: 10/1

If anybody has the ability to bring things crashing down around him like MG then its this guy.

Nick took Barings Bank down without anybody noticing in an identical way that Mark is doing at Welling.

A once successful enterprise with pride and self respect was obliterated by the greed, selfishness and egotistical ineptitude of one man and that also happened at Barings with Nick.

On the plus side Mr Leeson would be a lot more trustworthy with the finances of our club than the current owner.

Peter Sutcliffe: 25/1

Although Peter has his detractors, there are not many people who can boost a more shocking record of killing off poor and vulnerable things than our current manager.

Peter shares the same delusional traits of pathological self importance and narcissism as the current incumbent exudes as well as a want and a will of hammering home the 

most shocking and dreadful ideas which will lead to nothing but horror, turmoil and destruction.

Steve King: 50/1

Has the best book of contacts in Non League Football.

Has an outstanding track record at this level of putting a team together and forming a pattern of play of exciting, attacking football.

The job he did at Whitehawk was nothing short of a minor miracle and only last season he took Welling United to the play off final and to the brink of a return to the

National Conference before being.....

Oh yeah, damn it, before being fired by Mark Goldberg who replaced him with Mark Goldberg.

Ok scrap that one, well done Mark, great leadership.