I got the following email from GQ. Well worth a look at their site.

"THE CUT-OUT-AND-KEEP* GUIDE TO SURVIVING THE WORLD CUP By Benjie Goodhart at GQ World Cup coverage.

*Cutting out should not be attempted while the guide is on your screen.

Remember, it's not a sprint, it's a marathon, so if you don't want to end up all Jade Goody, walking part of it and then collapsing, follow a few simple rules. Good luck, and be careful out there.

1. Don't cheer when Sol Campbell scores a vital extra-time winner. It's a waste of energy.
2. Don't attempt to drink during every game of the tournament. Start at half-time for the lunchtime games.
3. If you have to work, get a job at Dixons.
4. Or, even better, as a World Cup linesman.
5. Failing that, some excuses are better than others to get a month off work. Cold/flu/food poisoning (the old faithfuls) won't buy you enough time. Claiming you're serving a prison stretch is likely to harm future employment prospects. Instead, try: Fatality (someone else's, remember you have to go back to work); an operation on your private parts (unlikely to be made up, and nobody will ask to see the scar); paternity leave (though it may dampen your chances of pulling Jo from accounts, and you'll need to produce a baby for the summer picnic); kidnap (though this could involve you having to send work your own finger).
6. If you're single, don't start a relationship.
7. If you're in a relationship, get a second telly.
8. Or even better, a second home.
9. Stock up on tinned food. Blue bread, green ham and spreadable milk are not a good diet, and besides, perishables take up valuable fridge space.
10. Laminate everything.
11. Don't buy any football singles. That includes whichever classical number the BBC select for their theme tune. It'll already be on your Hooked On Classics 7 double album underneath the broken kite and the doll's house in the attic.
12. I don't have a doll's house.
13. Seriously, I'm just looking after it for my sister.
14. Don't believe any inside story that quotes "senior players". It means the journalist has made it up.
15. Especially if it's on this website, as I don't know any senior players. Though I met Terry Fenwick once.
16. It's okay to miss Iran v Angola. But only because the highlights will be on later.
17. Don't invite anyone over who considers it "just a game". If confronted, ask them if Desperate Housewives is "just a programme".
18. Work are unlikely to observe your own two-week mourning period at the end of the tournament.
19. Don't attempt to argue your way out of the fact that you cry during England defeats, but not during Schindler's List. She's right, your priorities are all f***ed up.
20. She's unlikely to want "a portion" when you stagger in from the pub and wake her up.
21. Even if England have won.
22. And if, by some miracle she does, don't shout "Lampard" at the vital moment.
23. If she does that, you're in trouble.

For more expert World Cup tips and trivia, including Benjie's daily blog, alternative team-by-team analysis, insightful England player profiles and 100s of other little-known but must-read footie facts, visit GQ World Cup coverage. NOW"